A Sweet Wish Upon a Star

hatters-art:

godamm fairies can’t even raise a fuckin child what us the world coming to jesus christ this rate shes not even gonna be able to read better teach her all i know, did i mention i h8 children STOP SMILING AT ME I AM EVIL, FEAR ME let me just show u the wonders of the forest real quick.

tags:
#xDD
#news

rnicrophone:

journalism at its finest

(Source: tastefullyoffensive)

smaugwithablog:

queenofslash:

just-for-the-reblogs:

lumos5000:

i love how they didn’t even say any thing. they just all stood there…

yes

they stood there

in a line

whose line was it 

anyway

tags:
#xDD

floralbroma:

floralbroma:

in my dream last night i was at some kind of meeting and when i looked across the table there was this dude sitting there.  and i remember whispering ‘why is macklemore here?’ really horrified but i guess he heard me and the dude whipped his head around to glare at me and it was jean kirschtein.

image

THE PROPHECY HAS BEEN FULFILLED

(Source: floralgrandma)

tags:
#xDD
#Info

princess-of-lore:

mycheekyfinn:

official-nasa:

monilip:

dont-stop-runninggg:

knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit

wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad 

That was deep

philosophy is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie

That was deeper.

common sense is knowing that ketchup isn’t a damn smoothie you nasty

(Source: whattt-fucking-ever)

tags:
#xDD
#video

timelordparadise:

So a while back in Adelaide we had a bunch of preachers who’d go and set up and preach really loudly to crowds at bus stops

Then we had this guy

(Source: robb-stark-king-in-the-north)

tags:
#xDD

andrewthepoet:

One time I went on a date to the Olive Garden and I ordered the seafood pasta. I open up one of the muscle oyster things and low and behold there is a tiny crab in there. I freak out and think it’s the craziest thing ever. I keep talking to my then girlfriend about this tiny crab. How hilariously wonderful it is that the little dude crawled in there in the ocean only to become a freaky little part of my pasta. She is very unamused and clearly wants me to shut the hell up about this tiny crab and be a normal person. She is 0% excited about the tiny crab. 

The waitress comes over eventually and is like ‘hey how’s the meal?’ and I’m like ‘awesome, but you gotta check this out! i found a tiny crab in here!’ and waitress freaks out and thinks its awesome. And she is like ‘can I take this to show everyone else?’ and I’m all like ‘hells yeah.’ So she does and everyone else that works there thinks it’s awesome.

Girlfriend SUPER annoyed.

The End.

romancenovelplotsoversimplified:

I’ll just leave this here.

tags:
#xDD

tokidokifish:

superwholockgarfield:

tickling-your-man-boobies:

dudewheresmycat:

give me the reasons not to reblog this.

they don’t exist

i have one

the stars are not in position

image

gaymers-inc:

Tom Nook lookin for his money.

(Source: yeahiwasintheshit)